When I was in high school everyone around me was talking about their future plans and what they wanted to be and I never really had an answer. I was interested in many things and choosing just one felt sad and depressing. What if I get bored in my chosen profession? What if I hate it after a few years? What if I make the wrong choice? When it came time to declare my major at college I went with International Business with a minor in Spanish. I thought that would give me a lot of different directions and I knew I liked the Spanish language. I figured that I would never be able to learn all there is to know about the language and culture so that would take care of the potential boredom part and the business seemed like something that would have some variety and a broad range of options. However, once I took a business class I realized that was not for me. Even though I received an A in the class I absolutely hated every minute of it. It was soooooo boring and didn't put my creative skills to use in a way that I thought would work for the long-term. So, I went back to the drawing board and actually visited the campus counseling center where I took an aptitude test and spent weeks going over the results with a counselor to decide my future. In the end, I kept the Spanish part and ditched the business side in favor of education. Now, I would like to state that for the entirety of my school career I had sworn up and down that I would never be a teacher because my Mom was a teacher and made it seem terrible. But, low and behold, that is what I went with.
I will say that I don't regret that decision. I loved teaching and it served me well but with the current state of education in the U.S. it became an untenable situation for me. Teaching provided me with the opportunity to apply my multi-tiered skillset and enabled me to feel like I was contributing to the world and that I was of value. So, when I transitioned into the corporate world I had quite a shock when I realized that I was hired for a specific and very small portion of my skillset and to remove myself from the tiny box in which I had been placed would be a challenge. I also experienced an environment where my gifts were not recognized as valuable but instead as a threat to their job and status within the company.
So, after almost one year at my new, big girl job. I am looking for a change. I realize now that I need a position that values all of the parts of me and wants to utilize all of my skills. This year has been the worst experience for my mental health and I recognize that my big personality and broad skillset is not for everyone but I am sure I will find somewhere that I feel valued for all I have to offer.
To wrap up my little quasi-diary entry to the internet, I'm still here and plan on going back to my roots by exploring all of my interests again so you'll definitely be seeing some great new content soon.
I just want to end this by saying that if you are also a multi-passionate, big and loud personality that you have so much to offer and you should never hide your light to fit in. Instead, you should venture off to find somewhere that accepts you for who you are and appreciates all that you have to offer. Life is too short to spend it second-guessing every action and holding back all of the wonderful things you have to offer just because others are threatened by you or don't understand you. You can only control your actions. I know that I enter all interactions with an open mind and heart and that I only ever have the best intentions.
Wish me luck on my next adventure and on fully accepting who I am and what I have to offer and if this post resonates with you I'd love to hear from you and be a kind and listening ear if you want to talk.